Communication, GOALS, Love, PURPOSE, relationships

But By Weight

This morning I read a quote from Proverbs which states “deliver your words not by number but by weight”. During my journey of self discovery I have encountered many quotes relating to the power of the tongue and how it is better to speak less and listen more. This particular quote stuck with me because it inspired me to choose my words wisely and the quantity can never replace quality.

Growing up I was always told it is not what you say but how you say it. Now that I am older and have experiences many communication related issues, I do believe that choice of words can influence the way the a conversation flows. Knowing who you are speaking to (your audience) is equally as important because you can choose the correct words to use that would impact the listener. I noticed that when speaking to my son he benefits from positive reinforcement. Being a toddler he can sometimes choose to take the path which is not available to him, For instance, if I cook steak for dinner I can say to him “Hey son, do you want steak or pizza?” His response is usually along the lines of “Mommy I want shrimp!” which clearly was not an option. So in order to manipulate him into choosing one of the choices I would instead say, “Hey son, you are growing so big and strong. I know you want to be a super hero like spider man so which food do you think would give you the most super power? Is it the steak or the pizza?”. At this point he is so enthralled with the idea of being compared to Spider-man he would eat anything.

I must admit. Changing my communication technique, remaining mindful of what I am saying and who I am saying it to has greatly improved all of my relationships. I have a better understanding with my coworkers and less arguments with my significant other. Colossians 4:6 says Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Your response to your boss should not be the same as your response to your mate. Proverbs 15:28  states The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.

Whether your goal is to improve your relationships or to be more aligned with the word of God changing your communication style and improving communication techniques is beneficial. Take the time today to listen more than you speak. Spend time analyzing your responses and consider how they would impact the receiver. Learn a new vocabulary word or try learning another language to broaden your communication style.


Father God thank you for blessing me with the opportunity to think and speak freely. Lord please make sure that the words of my mouth are all aligned with your purpose. Father please humble me so that I am listening to learn and not to respond. God please protect and bless my relationships so that they flourish and glorify your name. God you are amazing, through you anything is possible. Amen.

Please let me know your thoughts on this article. Place your comments below and I will respond. 🙂

Love, relationships

Camels Back 

I wrote this poem months ago and lost it in my notes. What good is art if you don’t allow anyone to see it. & so I share:

I can not love again
I have nothing to give 

I’m constantly asking god

Why love is important to live 

I once loved a man so strong 

It broke the camels back 

I know my love was unbearable and I have to deal with that

Now my heart Has closed down and the love can no longer form

That’s when I deal with inquisitive minds who question what went wrong 

I can not love again 

I can not bear the pain 

To see your smile to feel your touch 

It hurts to hear your name 

And when this dark cloud passes 

I pray I don’t forget 

The scars that love has left me should never be dismissed 

So here I stand heart in my hand 

Trying to soothe my thoughts 

Facing my realities and confronting all my fears

Fleeing from love with hopes of never ending up here

See I once loved a man so strong 

It broke the camels back

And since my love is unbearable I have to face that fact 


Relationship Status

Hello beautiful world. This blog is a goal of mine which is a work in progress. Writing every day inspires me but finding the time to do so is often difficult. In order to encourage myself to write daily and to ensure that I have interesting topics to write about, I decided to take a ninety day blog challenge. This here is day one!

Topic: Relationship Status

I am currently in a relationship. I have been in this relationship for about a year and a half. My “boyfriend” is an amazing guy who has so much potential. He makes me laugh, he is extremely handsome. The best part about our relationship is that we have a lot of qualities in common. I feel so lucky to have someone in my life that I could honestly say is a true friend. I love our friendship. Often times I worry if our relationship would work out in the long run but I never doubt if our friendship would last.

Pros: Makes me laugh, handsome, great foundation of friendship, share some of the same dreams and goals, we both love each other, we both want the relationship to work

Cons: he’s not easily motivated, talks more than acts, battles of issues of infidelity, manipulative, hes not financially responsible

As you can see the pro’s are great but the cons are major deal breakers, if I choose to let them be. My goal is to stay in my relationship and to try to make it work. I have faith that God works miracles. In my previous relationship I was engaged and we lived together. From the outside looking in my relationship appeared to be stable but truly I was miserable. Now with my current relationship, it appears to be unstable. Most of my family and friends comment that we are unevenly yoked. This fact may be true but we are both willing to make the changes necessary to make it work.

On thing I admire about my relationship is that it has exposed flaws in me that I never knew existed. My partner inspires me to become a better woman daily. If we end up separating tomorrow there is a wealth of experiences that I can say I have benefited from while being with him. I pray that if it is in God’s will for us to be together that we will.


When the Snow Falls

Matthew 6:31-34

As I sit by the window and watch the snow fall life begins to set in. Just a few days ago I celebrated my 30th birthday. Although to some it may seem like a number worth celebrating the big 3-0 caused me to take a long hard look at my life. As I began to closely analyze where I came from and where I am heading the joke about time flying appears to be an understatement. Thoughts of prior plans, goals and wishes ran through my mind. Just when I think I have life all figured out the big question came to me: Are you living life to its full purpose?

Often we become so wrapped up with work and securing our future that we lose track of what is important to us. Irreplaceable things such as relationships and health diminish when compared to making money and paying bills. As we venture through life I urge you all to remember that in order to ensure you are living your life to its full potential begin to incorporate these three important elements into your daily schedule.

  1. Thankfulness: There’s a quote that reads: “Be kind, Be thoughtful, Be genuine, but most of all Be thankful.” Throughout life we become so wrapped up in goals and visualizing the future things we want that we often forget to show appreciation for the things we currently have. Living in the present and being thankful for what we have will open the door for us to receive more. Despite our hardships there is always someone who is in a worst situation, God wants us to show appreciation for what he has done and for what he is doing. Being thankful and in a constant state of appreciation with allow us to be peaceful which in turn can improve productivity. Scriptures Psalms 136:2-3, 2 Corinth 9:8, James 1:2, Phil 1:9-10, Colo 3:15
  2. Spend Time with God daily: We all have 24 hours a day to live life and be purposeful. What we do with those hours will ultimately determine our future and our fate. Be purposeful with your time and be intent on spending it doing positive things. By spending time in prayer and spending time studying the word daily we will begin to fill ourselves up with positive Godly vibes which we get us through all of the days whether they be tough or great we will be equipped with the tools needed to deal with them. When we are filled with the power of God it will show and  the people around us will be greatly attracted to that power. Through our daily interactions we can minister to people without intention and we can lead others to God without knowing. Building a relationship with God will ensure that we are living according to our purpose because God will began to speak to us and to lead us to our destiny. If ever you want to know the purpose of something you must consult with the maker. Scriptures: Prov 16:20, Psalm 16:8, Psalm 32:7, Prov 3:5-6, Psalm 84:11, James 4:8, Matt 6:33
  3. Love Others: Loving others is one way you can ensure that you are living according to your purpose. This is one of the ten commandments which has been esteemed as one of the most important commandments. Loving others can range from helping a stranger carry groceries to visiting sick children in the hospital on your spare time. Love comes in many shapes and forms. Love should not only be extended to family and close friends, love should be shown to everyone you encounter even those who hate you or wrong you in some way. Jesus is a prime example of how often we should show love. Jesus never turned his back on people he even loved those who did not understand him or agree with him. By extending love we can ensure that we are living in our God given purpose. Scriptures: Eph 4:32, Prov 3:3-4, Lam 3:22, Phil 2:3-44, John 13:34-35

I pray that this three suggestions will lead you to find greater purpose in your life. It is my hope that when you have a moment to reflect on your life you will find areas in which you can implement one or more of these routines into your life. Remember that we are nothing without God and although the big house and luxury car may be a dream for most of us obtaining these things will not fulfill the purpose that we are here on Earth to complete. For what shall it profit man to gain the whole world but to lose his soul in the process.