This morning I read a quote from Proverbs which states “deliver your words not by number but by weight”. During my journey of self discovery I have encountered many quotes relating to the power of the tongue and how it is better to speak less and listen more. This particular quote stuck with me because it inspired me to choose my words wisely and the quantity can never replace quality.
Growing up I was always told it is not what you say but how you say it. Now that I am older and have experiences many communication related issues, I do believe that choice of words can influence the way the a conversation flows. Knowing who you are speaking to (your audience) is equally as important because you can choose the correct words to use that would impact the listener. I noticed that when speaking to my son he benefits from positive reinforcement. Being a toddler he can sometimes choose to take the path which is not available to him, For instance, if I cook steak for dinner I can say to him “Hey son, do you want steak or pizza?” His response is usually along the lines of “Mommy I want shrimp!” which clearly was not an option. So in order to manipulate him into choosing one of the choices I would instead say, “Hey son, you are growing so big and strong. I know you want to be a super hero like spider man so which food do you think would give you the most super power? Is it the steak or the pizza?”. At this point he is so enthralled with the idea of being compared to Spider-man he would eat anything.
I must admit. Changing my communication technique, remaining mindful of what I am saying and who I am saying it to has greatly improved all of my relationships. I have a better understanding with my coworkers and less arguments with my significant other. Colossians 4:6 says Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Your response to your boss should not be the same as your response to your mate. Proverbs 15:28 states The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.
Whether your goal is to improve your relationships or to be more aligned with the word of God changing your communication style and improving communication techniques is beneficial. Take the time today to listen more than you speak. Spend time analyzing your responses and consider how they would impact the receiver. Learn a new vocabulary word or try learning another language to broaden your communication style.
Father God thank you for blessing me with the opportunity to think and speak freely. Lord please make sure that the words of my mouth are all aligned with your purpose. Father please humble me so that I am listening to learn and not to respond. God please protect and bless my relationships so that they flourish and glorify your name. God you are amazing, through you anything is possible. Amen.
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